New Toilets for the Old Fair

The Old Govan Fair  celebrates 260 years on Friday 3rd June and will christen a brand new set of toilets.

LUXALOO are ”delighted to announce that this year will see the old ones (which you may remember were nearly as old as the fair itself and a wee bit shoogly) replaced with spanking new ones complete with running water”.

Govan Fair organisers have been deliberating about who should do the official opening ceremony.

”We considered our patrons, first minister Nicola Sturgeon and Lord Provost Sadie Docherty but decided a Royal would be more appropriate, so the Govan Fair Queen will cut the ribbon (or rather, will cut the bumph).”

Govan Fair Association Chairman, Lord James Stringfellow, will (inevitably) release copious amounts of hot air and will be invited to sound the first tinkle

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